Dating among colleagues in the same work place has been a regular trend. Workers fall easily in love with those they work with than those without; they feel safe and sure. They feel they know the person inside out.
It is a common thing for people to date their boss. Office romance has been a source of concern to individuals and organization. Harris interaction conducted online survey of 8,038 full-time adult employees on behalf of www.careerbuilder.com between November 12 and December 1, 2008.
According to the report released on Tuesday last week, it showed that forty percent of U.S workers have dated an office colleague, with 31 percent of them going onto marriage. Ten percent work with someone they would like to date.
Among those who dated a co-worker I 2008, one third said it was with a more senior position in the company. In the whole 42 percent have dated their boss.
One would be tempted to ask a question if these bosses dated were somebody else’s husband or wife. What happens to their marriages, for those who are married? I suppose office romance is another culprit to high divorce rate.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
WHY PEOPLE FEAR RELATIONSHIPS
An easy way to identify this type of people may be those who want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. They radiate fear from themselves which plunges them into avoiding of having to commit to anything especially relationships.
The causes of this phobia are numerous. Experts believe it often starts in childhood, and sometimes can be associated with trauma, death or parental separation. At first the effect may not be noticeable but at the long run it turns out into adults who dare commitment.
Dr. Kelvin Leman, a psychologist in his book, “when your best are not good enough”, gave an illustration—really a true life story. Ann had this lifestyle of falling in and out of relationships. Unconsciously she dares commitments. It came to a point in her life that she met Richard. Ann loved Richard more than any man she had ever loved before. Thy were drawn together like moths to a flame, in the authors word. “It was fate”, she said.
She described Richard as her knight in shinning armor. Guess what? Something unthinkable happened. Her knight in shinning armor asks her hand in marriage. It came over her as a bomb would devastate a land under siege. She was completely broken. What could have been her problem? Experts call it commitment phobia. She kept Richard dangling for several months, until he eventually came to understand she was never going to agree marrying him, and walked away from the relationship.
Richard who opted out was engage to another woman. Ann rediscovering what a wonderful man he was, and how terribly wrong she had let him get away, changed her mind. She tried making amends but it was too late. Richard went ahead to marry her new found love.
Commitment phobic tend to shy away from relationships, not because they are not able o do it but their negativity sometimes could spur up passivity in them. They never have to make decision or take action. This indeed is the pattern for people with low self esteem.
Probably in the past they may have been rejected by others in a particular thing, in order to protect themselves from further occurrence they shut themselves off from people. One thing they have to put to heart is that most successful men in life had failed several times.
Thomas Edison, a man who was branded by his school master as “retarded” and who finished only three months of formal education did not feel rejected, instead, Edison sought to make a genius of others accessible and practical, in that he succeeded.
The causes of this phobia are numerous. Experts believe it often starts in childhood, and sometimes can be associated with trauma, death or parental separation. At first the effect may not be noticeable but at the long run it turns out into adults who dare commitment.
Dr. Kelvin Leman, a psychologist in his book, “when your best are not good enough”, gave an illustration—really a true life story. Ann had this lifestyle of falling in and out of relationships. Unconsciously she dares commitments. It came to a point in her life that she met Richard. Ann loved Richard more than any man she had ever loved before. Thy were drawn together like moths to a flame, in the authors word. “It was fate”, she said.
She described Richard as her knight in shinning armor. Guess what? Something unthinkable happened. Her knight in shinning armor asks her hand in marriage. It came over her as a bomb would devastate a land under siege. She was completely broken. What could have been her problem? Experts call it commitment phobia. She kept Richard dangling for several months, until he eventually came to understand she was never going to agree marrying him, and walked away from the relationship.
Richard who opted out was engage to another woman. Ann rediscovering what a wonderful man he was, and how terribly wrong she had let him get away, changed her mind. She tried making amends but it was too late. Richard went ahead to marry her new found love.
Commitment phobic tend to shy away from relationships, not because they are not able o do it but their negativity sometimes could spur up passivity in them. They never have to make decision or take action. This indeed is the pattern for people with low self esteem.
Probably in the past they may have been rejected by others in a particular thing, in order to protect themselves from further occurrence they shut themselves off from people. One thing they have to put to heart is that most successful men in life had failed several times.
Thomas Edison, a man who was branded by his school master as “retarded” and who finished only three months of formal education did not feel rejected, instead, Edison sought to make a genius of others accessible and practical, in that he succeeded.
Friday, February 6, 2009
WRITING YOUR FIRST LETTER TO AN ONLINE DATE
Your first letter to an online date is an opportunity when ruined could mean the end of your dreamed match come true. First impression would affect your future communication in no small measure. This calls for caution.
Create an air of attraction
Start by making the introductory part of your letter full of attraction. It should be magnetic. You may start with something like: “If I was an author, do you know what I would do? Your picture would certainly make my cover page. You are a beauty bright”
This first line appreciates her person. An unvarnished truth is that almost all people have the need that there presence is being recognized in a sincere way. Appreciation is the primary needs of every human especially those looking for love. Say something stunning about your match, her hair, eyes etc. A good introduction shows how well articulated you could be. It shows your confidence and portrays a person who would not have trouble starting a thing. It shows balance among other things.
Be mysterious a little
Mystery naturally evokes interest and anticipation. An air of mystery heightens your presence. It makes your reader want to go a little step further to know you. Don’t let everything out about you. Make your match want to reply you by saying that you would say more interesting things about yourself that she would love to know when she replies you. A little of mystery would put you in control of her action.
Be short
Be short and precise as much as much as you can. Let every word count. A lengthy letter may turn out to be boring. As you should know, she would be reading a lot of letter. Making it short and interesting would mean being nice to her in a way and being business like.
Keep your problems to yourself
Avoid using your first letter as an avenue to sharing your problems with others. She is not a psychologist. What she needs is love and not your difficult experiences. It would only come when she is intimate with you. Only love can share your difficult experiences.
Nothing generic
Your letter should reflect your match profile. Anything that would make your match think it is not specifically intended for him or she should be avoided like germs. Any feeling of your letter being generic could ruin your intension. Say something that pertains to her profile, her hobby, interest or something.
Avoid revealing questions
Do not ask questions that are personal revealing such as real name, home address, phone numbers, things about sex and the likes. Those are only meant for when the relationship has been taken to another level away from mere acquaintance.
Be yourself
Start by introducing yourself; your age, education and career. Statistics show that these three are most important to learn about for 80% ladies. Do not say things you are not. She may eventually know the truth. Once she knows the truth, her trust for you automatically dwindles. A relationship built on lies hardly stands the test of time.
Be polite and friendly
Do not write anything offensive. Imagine she is a potential business partner and try to keep your discussion formal. Avoid the use of words or phrases like: “hey chick” “my hot girl” and the likes. It doesn’t show a mature and well balanced mind.
Ask questions so she can respond
Let the style of your writing be more of dialogue. It is important you do this; it makes her feel you are a good listener. Encourage your match to talk about themselves. This in a little way gives out a clue to how interested you could be in people. Dale Carnegie, in his book, “How to win friends and influence people”, suggest that one of the principle of how to make people like you is to talk in terms of their interest. Ask your match questions you feel would interest them. This you could do by carefully studying their personal profile. Look for things like their hobbies, what they like doing at leisure and please never forget to make remark on it. If you do not know anything about their interest research a little on it. Try to show some profound knowledge of their interest. This may show you share some interest in common.
Ask him or her how she had written such an interesting profile. Make it known to her how you had read through dozens of profiles and found hers more distinct and striking than any other one you had read. Impress on her mind that she is a good writer and say things nice like: “I wish I could write like you”. If she’s got passion for writing, she would certainly want to talk to you about that in her reply. Specifically point out few striking lines in her profile to buttress your claims. This makes your claims sincere and genuine.
[http://alovelinksplus.com
[http://articlesbase.com. Writing first time to an online match
[http://internet-dating-tips-blogspot.com. Writing your first letter to a girl from dating site
[http://freedatingsite.co.uk.com
[http://articledashboard.com
[http://russiangirlint.com
Create an air of attraction
Start by making the introductory part of your letter full of attraction. It should be magnetic. You may start with something like: “If I was an author, do you know what I would do? Your picture would certainly make my cover page. You are a beauty bright”
This first line appreciates her person. An unvarnished truth is that almost all people have the need that there presence is being recognized in a sincere way. Appreciation is the primary needs of every human especially those looking for love. Say something stunning about your match, her hair, eyes etc. A good introduction shows how well articulated you could be. It shows your confidence and portrays a person who would not have trouble starting a thing. It shows balance among other things.
Be mysterious a little
Mystery naturally evokes interest and anticipation. An air of mystery heightens your presence. It makes your reader want to go a little step further to know you. Don’t let everything out about you. Make your match want to reply you by saying that you would say more interesting things about yourself that she would love to know when she replies you. A little of mystery would put you in control of her action.
Be short
Be short and precise as much as much as you can. Let every word count. A lengthy letter may turn out to be boring. As you should know, she would be reading a lot of letter. Making it short and interesting would mean being nice to her in a way and being business like.
Keep your problems to yourself
Avoid using your first letter as an avenue to sharing your problems with others. She is not a psychologist. What she needs is love and not your difficult experiences. It would only come when she is intimate with you. Only love can share your difficult experiences.
Nothing generic
Your letter should reflect your match profile. Anything that would make your match think it is not specifically intended for him or she should be avoided like germs. Any feeling of your letter being generic could ruin your intension. Say something that pertains to her profile, her hobby, interest or something.
Avoid revealing questions
Do not ask questions that are personal revealing such as real name, home address, phone numbers, things about sex and the likes. Those are only meant for when the relationship has been taken to another level away from mere acquaintance.
Be yourself
Start by introducing yourself; your age, education and career. Statistics show that these three are most important to learn about for 80% ladies. Do not say things you are not. She may eventually know the truth. Once she knows the truth, her trust for you automatically dwindles. A relationship built on lies hardly stands the test of time.
Be polite and friendly
Do not write anything offensive. Imagine she is a potential business partner and try to keep your discussion formal. Avoid the use of words or phrases like: “hey chick” “my hot girl” and the likes. It doesn’t show a mature and well balanced mind.
Ask questions so she can respond
Let the style of your writing be more of dialogue. It is important you do this; it makes her feel you are a good listener. Encourage your match to talk about themselves. This in a little way gives out a clue to how interested you could be in people. Dale Carnegie, in his book, “How to win friends and influence people”, suggest that one of the principle of how to make people like you is to talk in terms of their interest. Ask your match questions you feel would interest them. This you could do by carefully studying their personal profile. Look for things like their hobbies, what they like doing at leisure and please never forget to make remark on it. If you do not know anything about their interest research a little on it. Try to show some profound knowledge of their interest. This may show you share some interest in common.
Ask him or her how she had written such an interesting profile. Make it known to her how you had read through dozens of profiles and found hers more distinct and striking than any other one you had read. Impress on her mind that she is a good writer and say things nice like: “I wish I could write like you”. If she’s got passion for writing, she would certainly want to talk to you about that in her reply. Specifically point out few striking lines in her profile to buttress your claims. This makes your claims sincere and genuine.
[http://alovelinksplus.com
[http://articlesbase.com. Writing first time to an online match
[http://internet-dating-tips-blogspot.com. Writing your first letter to a girl from dating site
[http://freedatingsite.co.uk.com
[http://articledashboard.com
[http://russiangirlint.com
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