EIGHT CONNECTING FACTORS TO BECOMING BEST FRIENDS

Freond in old English is a person whom one knows well and is fond of. Being best friends go beyond the scope of knowing well. It transcends to the point of mutual transference of traits, consciously or unconsciously. Before long, both of you seem to become one, not wanting to stay away from the tie.

Making the best of your friendship is a two sided thing. Both partners have input. It’s expedient to note here that one shouldn’t wait or bank on the other to make it ‘best’. The natural law of reciprocity is valid in this situation. Just build the blocks, there would be the natural tendencies of the other giving a hand.


 Make yourself a best friend
Everything one wants in life begins from the mind. Little wonder Napoleon Hill in his book The Positive Mental Thinking, asserts that what the mind conceives, it receives. Charity begins at home – your mind. Say to you ‘I am a best friend’. Feel it and act it.

 Avoid Perfectionism
Naturally as you tend to know each other very well, you become aware of each other’s weaknesses as well as strengths. Knowing this shouldn’t be an encumbrance towards building the blocks of best of friends, rather it should make you be aware of the likely ‘pitfalls’ in your relationship. For instance, knowing your friend is predominantly choleric in temperament would let you know he or she would have the problem of perfectionism. This understanding would work like the magic wand of Alibaba. According to Dennis Prager, he said that friends who never complain, always loving, never have moods, always fixated are known as pets. You do not expect your friend to act a pet, do you?

 Love Notes
Make it a habit of dropping love notes for your friend. You could keep it under his (her) pillow, in the car, in the cupboard, in his (her) book, anywhere – just where your friend do not expect it. Surprises are most often cherished. It goes a long way to tell the person how much esteemed and loved. It doesn’t have to be long. A sentence or two could do. You never would know how many times he (she) would go through it. It would certainly make his (her) day.

 Listen to Criticism
They just might be right. Even when your friend is wrong in its approach which may be destructive instead of constructive criticism. Courtesy demands that you don’t react rather respond to it. You might just say something like, ‘Hey! Courtesy isn’t expensive’. Experts advise that in doing this, it makes the fault seem easy to correct. Be liberal with your encouragement; make it seem easy to do; let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do.

 Date
Plan a special date together for just the two of you. You know what it means? It tells your beau that you mean a lot to me and I wish I could spend the rest of my time with you. Go out on a ‘date’ at least once a month. This must take place before closeness develops. It is time to learn to be comfortable with each while you practice the basis of friendship. Begin with trying out common interest such as swimming, playing chess etc. You may try to do something new which calls for self sacrifices on the part of both us of you. According to Ed Wheat, M. D. and Gloria O. Perkins, in their book Love Life For Every Married Couple, confirmed that shared time, shared activities, shared interests and shared experiences leads to shared feelings and shared confidence. They went further to say that it’s the cream of marriage. I can’t imagine a lady living without a cream. Oh! I just have to dream it in another world.

 Respect
This entails showing consideration for the feelings of your friend. Be tactful and discreet when your taste differs from theirs. So guard against the tendency to want to have your friend all to yourself. Give them the freedom of confiding in others and do not take offence at that.
Sometimes your friend would have need for privacy. You should be able to read his body language and know when he wants time for himself. It doesn’t in anyway mean he’s getting bored of you. It’s very natural.

 Confident
Never repeat to anyone else the things your friend shares with you privately. You may never know the effect on your relationship until he hears the same thing he told you in the closet outside the street. At first, your friend would be like a kitten beaten by the rain. That would definitely make him withdrawn. A man that is not fully developed would definitely go ballistic on the next meet.